Request of the Century
by Redentor
Summary: My request to the Fanfiction writers of this catagory Inheritance Cycle .
1. Chapter 1

Request of the Century

I'm suitably stoned at the moment to start writing this. I've been looking on the Inheritance cycle pages for a very specific thing for some time now, and I have yet to find it. In my search I have begun to see a common pattern. I have come to the conclusion that most Fan Fiction writers for the Inheritance cycle are girls who still believe that love at first sight is a real thing. It is not, there is such a thing however as a desire to get into someone's pants at first sight. Harsh reality isn't it? So, I present my plea to anyone willing to throw down the gauntlet and write a story of my specifications, and get a spot on Redentor Publications masthead when we eventually rise to power over this websites community (No I'm not joking). My specifications are thus:

A sarcastic male OC from our reality who gets sent to the Inheritance cycle against his will.

He doesn't like it there and does everything he can to avoid getting mixed up in the events of the storyline, to no avail.

He doesn't like Eragon because (Obviously) he's a bloody moron and idealist.

He wants to shag Arya, and eventually manages to do so.

Not a very talented swordfighter, but he's good bare knuckles brawler. (Fights dirty)

Ends up being the hero of the story, proving that assholes are sometimes the best people to get the job done.

This is probably the most important point of the lot: Run your chapters past me or another of the Redentor Publications team before you post it up.

Thank you ladies (and from my guesswork, considerably less gentleman) and remember to PM our page if you're interested.

Yours Truly,

James Garrett,

Editor and Writer for Redentor Publications Est. 2009.


	2. Request Contested

Ideas are hitting a soft spot are they? That's good, gets the old neurons sparking. This combination of characterisation and to put it bluntly, being a dickhead is exactly what writing a good anti-hero requires. The match up of Arya and Eragon has past its phase of net worth and is now stagnant in the pools of deficit imagination. There is no fire, no unpredictability...dare I say it, no mileage left. This is what Redentor Publications specialises in: A mind's eye mixed with a special pinch of unpredictable actions and assholes behaving badly. It puts the childish beliefs of good and evil to shame, and is much more amusing to read than this never ending drove of classical white knight tosh. Put all these things together and you foster an element of chaos, and chaos is exactly what stimulates the mind. A person possessed of the spirit of practicality, forced into a battle between two sides, both of which leave a lot of the criminal mind to be desired. Fit the right character into a story and you can spend hours writing what you believe to be the right course to take, but fit in my character...a tale to remember. A tale of a man less than a hero but destined for greatness against his will; destined to fight a battle that was never his with all his guile and cunning. This is not about petty lust or desire; this is about stepping into characters shoes and understanding where you would take them, because it is **your** decision. You are your character, through a bond that defies the senses, reason or logic. And though it defies these, you must use them to guide your creation, guide it through the world that you weave around it, guide it to the end where its purpose will become clear. They might then learn the error of their ways, but what I hope to show in this story, is that their ways, though challenged and ridiculed by the so proclaimed righteous are the ways that will bring an enemy to their knees. Sometimes what people forget is that an evil person in real life, if they know the secrets of manipulation and deceit, can get anything they want to get. Riches, favours, trust, loyalty...sex. It's not just men, its women too. Those with the Way, the Way with Words that takes to construct a world from the sky down, going against all notions of tradition and mundane. What the virtuous class as evil is the pathway to greatness if used correctly. You can make someone believe whatever you want them to believe. You can direct their actions, their emotion, and their most primal desires. Redentor Publications is here to help you do this! Accept the corruption, the fleck of creativeness that will open the door to all you ever dreamed. That is indeed what Redentor means: Redeemer, which we are, redeeming the work of skalds, storytellers and the common tricksters throughout the ages. We bear the lessons they taught, the ability to catch a person's interest, to captivate them with words and shiny illusions. I thank all those who supported my idea, and urge them to continue along the path. Write the story; show them that the Way shall not be denied. Prove that the Art of deception and dishonesty is still alive and well to be used. Prove that the world is still operated not by the people who make the rules, but by the people willing to bend them, to break them, and escape with the power that storytellers shall always wield.


	3. Success

Success, one of the more astute members of my new congregation has spotted two of the three main points that I was trying to get across. Well done JakMar I salute you. The first point I was trying to make with this request was the blandness that seems to coat this section of the Fan Fiction community. The same kind of story, with the same child's fairytale elements that get awfully wearying after two or three chapters. I'm trying to introduce a bit of verity in the form of sarcastic, mildly witty characters that want no part of moral high ground at the expense of tangible value.

It funny to see such a character interacting with people like Eragon, who wouldn't know practicality if it beat him over the head with a rolling pin and then started screwing Arya. Give me a character like that any day of the week, it's much more entertaining.

The next point that he showed you is that a character that avoids the fighting and is less than honourable in most ways is the perfect addition to a story like this. It adds comedy, drama and interesting character development. The last point ties into what BestGameMaster was saying, though I do have to take some space in this to point out the flaws in your point of view. "Good is greater than evil. It is human nature; good flourishes and survives, while evil flounders and fails. Authors recognize this, and attempt to show others that this is the case. Obviously this is not always the case..."

**Rant mode activated**

No shit it is obviously not always the case! Let me play back the account. The Crusades, when Muslims and Christians slaughtered each other in the name of some crazy SOB hidden somewhere in the sky. This was a continuation of the Roman empires conflict in which Jesus Christ (The SOB's son) decided as you said, that human nature was all roses and buttercups. You do know he got nailed to a plank for his troubles don't you? Strike one against you.

The Napoleonic wars were the short fat man called Napoleon Bonaparte tried to conquer all of Europe. Cool guy that, some say he was the French Hitler. That doesn't make much sense though, since he came before Hitler on the timeline. Next: World War One.

The Great War, 9 million killed. If that isn't conclusive enough for you we move past the next few steps in a rush. World War 2, Korea, Vietnam, The Cold War, Afghanistan, Pakistan, Israel, Iraq, Afghanistan again, Korea again, Syria. Let's not forget the Revolutions right? Freedom and Equality came at the price of blood and chaos: The French Revolutions where the entire royal family was decapitated. Enlightenment is great right? The American Revolution, that happened so they could get Equality and Democracy like good Old France. They then went on to segregate every racial minority they could get their hands on. Land of the free my asshole.

Now the world is in a global economic decline and we'll be lucky to get out with our asses intact.

Now here comes the big one. The Irish Revolution: A fight that went on for almost 800 years to secure freedom and a United Eire. Did we go through official channels to secure our independence? No, we grabbed the biggest Empire at the time by the balls and squeezed until they gave us what we wanted. So don't fuckin' tell me that good triumphs over evil you ignorant sheltered child. Human nature is destruction, deceit, violence and bloodshed. You know what though?

That doesn't matter in the least. It's worked for the last few millenniums, and it will continue far after the human race is a bunch of fossils in the ground. I can see at least several instances in the Inheritance cycle where a great deal of trouble and bother could have been saved by the right amount of artfulness and controlled, regulated evil.

**Rant mode Deactivated**

So say what you want about my idea, it's more blood accurate than most of the stuff you alluding to. Anyone who wants to use this is welcome to, and my original conditions still stand. Just to be nice though, I'll start working on it myself as a rough draft. Also, in response to Scarecowy, the pastor got money yes, but there should defiantly be less people like him. He got caught.


	4. Chapter 4

Okay people, you have forced my hand, and as I promised I'll be uploading the first few chapters of my new work in the next few days. I have a lot more than this cooking so don't expect it to be coming out every day. Also, I'll have to delete this soon, as it is more the sort of thing to see on the forums, and not in the story lists. Rest assured I've taken the comments and criticisms to heart and will, as requested tone down the sexual innuendo to the bare minimum. Since you're so adamant I'll take out the Arya/OC aspects straight away. Check out The Wolf's Story on my page also, it'll be going through an extensive rewrite that I and Darren (Another Redentor Publications member) have been putting in serious time and effort into; this is the last chance to see the old version. I leave you with the treasured memories of our little altercation and the promise of a more tasteful works to come.

James Garrett,

Editor and not so acclaimed writer of Redentor Publications.


End file.
